“The Dentist” is one of the chapters from Tim O’Brien’s The Things They Carried.
Me: So I just read that chapter from The Things They Carried about the guy getting his tooth pulled.
My Dentist: Oh, yeah? (He sounds vaguely disinterested–by this I mean, not even interested enough to bother sounding interested.)
Me: Uh-huh. And the guy gets a perfectly good tooth pulled out because he was embarrassed about fainting in the dentist’s tent the day before. (I chatter on determinedly.)
Dentist: I see. (I don’t even have the sense that he’s even listening.)
Me: So, I was thinking, could you go ahead and locate my tooth that represents shame, embarrassment, and cowardice, and just yank that sucker out?
Dentist: (Staring at me like I’ve lost my mind.) I’m sorry?
Me: Yeah, let’s just forget the cleaning. Try out some metaphorical dentistry on me.
Dentist: (He giggles nervously, which, it turns out, is not something you want your dentist to do.) So just yank one out?
Me: Er-
Dentist: (With growing enthusiasm) Let’s do it!
Me: …(I’m running out the door.)
